I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
