Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
