He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
