so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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