I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize