I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize