you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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