I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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