wanna go halves on a baby?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
