i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize