Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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