I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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