She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
