I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
