I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
