so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
