Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
