You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
