Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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