I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
