He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
