Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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