Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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