Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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