very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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