god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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