The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
