I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
