Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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