I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
