She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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