you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
