Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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