the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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