stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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