it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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