Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
