so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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