my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
