It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
