Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
