I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
