Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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