I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
