im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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