so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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