Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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