love makes seman taste better
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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