Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
