umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
