yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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