if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
