porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
