We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
