so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
