At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
