That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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