Too much gin, very little bucket
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
