I wanna passion pit in your ass
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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